Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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