What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize