Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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