i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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