Can Purell be used as lube?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
