By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize