belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
