their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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