I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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