Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
