His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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