White coat. Heels.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
