I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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