Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
