he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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