: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
