I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
