True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
