Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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