Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize