ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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