I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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