I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
