guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
