Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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