Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
