we have pet lesbian snakes
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
