youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Don't make out with my wife yet
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
