im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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