The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
