Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you never un-have a 4some
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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