the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
