Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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