Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
