oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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