Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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