Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
How's work?
Spinning.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
