the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
