I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
