i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
