My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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