real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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