On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I puked a lego.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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