omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
