foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
