YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
