just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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