i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
