Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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