Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
