she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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