YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
