I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
