I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
