My brain says no but my pants say off.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
