he wants to bone in the snuggie
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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