The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
