i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
