i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
