if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
