____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i barfeds in our rink
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
