i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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