don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
