Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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