so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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